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Ever Notice

Did you ever notice that the only appropriate time to grunt while eating is while eating big chunks of beef? I tried grunting while I was digging into my carrots and quite frankly I felt like I was lying to myself. There’s no grunting while eating carrots….that’s like finding a potent alcoholic beverage that uses yogurt….the two just don’t go together….

Ever Notice

Did you ever notice that the only appropriate time to grunt while eating is while eating big chunks of beef? I tried grunting while I was digging into my carrots and quite frankly I felt like I was lying to myself. There’s no grunting while eating carrots….that’s like finding a potent alcoholic beverage that uses yogurt….the two just don’t go together….

3 Pointer Hell

We seriously have to be on pace for a franchise record for three point attempts this season per game. I think of all the possessions where we settle for a three pointer, a contested three pointer at that and I get to feeling awfully nasty.

In terms of last night’s game, where did Lamar go? He didn’t score his tenth point until the last 3 or 4 minutes. Caron scored but he really needs to work on his body control as he gets one to two charges per game. It wouldn’t be so much of a problem except that I can pretty much predict when he’s gonna bowl somebody over. Chucky Atkins needs to warm up better because his early game shooting is horrendous. Chris Mihm: GRAB THE REBOUND! Don’t tip, don’t bat, grab! Lastly, I like this Sasha Vujacic kid. He shot a few too many threes but his energy is excellent. It’ll be interesting to see if he develops into a viable sub once Kobe returns.

PS WHERE THE HELL IS DEVEAN GEORGE!?!?!?!

Magdeline vs Mrs Xpinionated

Women often wonder why men love their cars so much. Sometimes it may appear that we love our cars more than people in our lives. For some of those people, that’s a true statement. Now in no way, shape, or form do I love my car more than my wife (especially since she reads this here blog) but I am going to attempt to explain why cars hold such a special place in a man’s heart.

Control. No matter how much we men like to act like we have our women in control, in the back of our mind we know they are crazy. Crazy as hell. And there is no controlling crazy as hell. You can only hope to contain it. But when it comes to our cars….well, we are in complete control. I tell Magdeline to do something, and if it’s within her power she will do it.

Adaptability. Simply put, cars can be customized to your liking, wives cannot. You’re pretty much stuck with your wife unless she decides to change (fat chance…I love you Mrs. Xpinionated) whereas if I decide that Magdeline needs a couple of horses under the roof, I can make that happen. This is tied closely to the control issue.

Silence. This is fairly straightforward. Women speak on average 8000 words a day. Men speak 5000 words a day. What’s one of the most common questions from women to men? ‘What are you thinking about?’ In my head I respond, ‘if I wanted you to know that I’d be talking.’ But knowing better, I end up saying ‘Nothin’. Magdeline, though, only speaks when I tell her to. When I put a foot to her, she sings. And, never, eva eva eva…eva does Magdeline talk back.

With all this said…Bae you know I’m just playing!!!!