The External Role Model Parenting Theory
A new parenting paradigm is sweeping the country. This paradigm renders biological parenting efforts to a minimum. No longer do you need to worry about the welfare of your kids, or how they will grow up and deal with society. You simply give them shelter, food, and money. That’s it!!! The only other effort you need expend is making sure that the world behaves like you want so you don’t have to teach your child.
Don’t like something on TV? Complain about it, make sure TV caters to your children without the need for your supervision!
Kid not showing good sportsmanship? Blame it on pro athletes, after all, these people that you and your kids have never met should have WAY more influence in your kids lives than their actual parents.
Not comfortable having your kids eat in bars? Well, lobby your local lawmaker until they make every adult facility in the state kid friendly!
Kids want to play in the street? Tell your homeowners association that you need speed bumps for your house! After all, your kids have every right to not get out of the way of two ton moving vehicles.
Don’t like the video games your kids are playing? Water them down with a strongly worded email to your local congressman. After all, why should there be video games for adults explicitly?
See, with ERMP, there are no morales, no lessons, and no manners that a parent need worry their head about. You simply set your kid free in front of a television and periodically (every 4 months or so) check out what the little rugrat is watching. If he or she has any bad behaviour, blame it on tv, radio, sports whatever your heart desires. You never have to worry about actually teaching your child. Ever!
Learn more about the ERMP for only 14.95!!!


Many parents would love if this was actually official. Personally, I don’t like parents that don’t take time for their children as should be automatic when you become a parent. I will admit that I have let my kids sit in front of the tv or play video games for hours at a time, but not because I didn’t want to have to deal with them or because I felt the tv or game could teach them life lessons, it was more so I could clean the house without them trailing after me or so I could take a peaceful nap.
One thing I pride myself on as a parent is that I am there when my kids need me, both physically and emotionally. One thing they will never be able to say is that mom was not there for me and didn’t teach me right from wrong. I have a major problem with parents who send their kids to school to learn how to be a good kid and learn right from wrong. If it is not taught in the home you are doing something wrong as a parent and should be sent to school yourself!
Xpinionated - you always know how to bring the best out of me and seem to pick the topics that get me on a soap box…sorry.
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