5 rules to using Wal-Mart Self Checkout

During my drive home yesterday, I needed to stop and pick up a couple of birthday cards for my Nephew and my Pops. I’m thinking run into Wal-Mart (bad idea during the holiday season) grab some cards and be on my way. Running into Wal-Mart wasn’t the problem, grabbing the cards went pretty well, being on my way sucked. I go to self checkout because I just have two cards and didn’t really crave the human interaction, plus the machine says ‘Welcome to Wal-mart’ with so much more sincerity. So my waltz through Wal-Mart’s self checkout produced the rules below….and they apply to any self checkout actually…

Rule 5 - If you don’t know how to use self-checkout, don’t choose to start during the holiday season, at rush hour!

Rule 4 - If you have fruits or vegetables, just go to a human who knows how to quickly take care of that sort of thing….in fact alcohol requiring id checks is on the fringe for violating self-checkout consideration bylaws.

Rule 3 - Form a single line and let the next person go to the next available self checkout machine. Don’t stand behind a machine even though you see other people waiting…shady ass!

Rule 2 - If you have more than 10 items, go to a regular line. You’re gonna run out of bags and places to put stuff…..

Rule 1 - If you are paying by check….I shouldn’t have to explain this one .. . . . please go to the regular line. The fact that you still use checks is a whole other post but don’t make us relive the early 90’s with you….