Xpinionated

Taken from www.eskimo.com
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Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.”

Read More: “!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

For really, they are working…don’t believe me…try ‘em and see!

During my drive home yesterday, I needed to stop and pick up a couple of birthday cards for my Nephew and my Pops. I’m thinking run into Wal-Mart (bad idea during the holiday season) grab some cards and be on my way. Running into Wal-Mart wasn’t the problem, grabbing the cards went pretty well, being on my way sucked. I go to self checkout because I just have two cards and didn’t really crave the human interaction, plus the machine says ‘Welcome to Wal-mart’ with so much more sincerity. So my waltz through Wal-Mart’s self checkout produced the rules below….and they apply to any self checkout actually…

Rule 5 - If you don’t know how to use self-checkout, don’t choose to start during the holiday season, at rush hour!

Rule 4 - If you have fruits or vegetables, just go to a human who knows how to quickly take care of that sort of thing….in fact alcohol requiring id checks is on the fringe for violating self-checkout consideration bylaws.

Rule 3 - Form a single line and let the next person go to the next available self checkout machine. Don’t stand behind a machine even though you see other people waiting…shady ass!

Rule 2 - If you have more than 10 items, go to a regular line. You’re gonna run out of bags and places to put stuff…..

Rule 1 - If you are paying by check….I shouldn’t have to explain this one .. . . . please go to the regular line. The fact that you still use checks is a whole other post but don’t make us relive the early 90’s with you….

I’ve been informed that the commetns functionality is functioning so I’ll have to get on that….

Quite possibly, the most least effective forms of human communications is trying to talk to a baby over the phone. If the baby can’t speak to you in person, what reaction do you expect to get over the phone? It goes:
GLowing Grandma: Hi, hey, , hey
Baby:
Glowing Grandma: what’re you doing, hey, (then a little louder, cuz volume will teach the baby to talk), HIIIIIEEEE, HEEEEEYYYEEEEE
Baby:
Mother: Guess he doesn’t feel like talking now…..

Yes, useless communication……